But seriously, LOL.
The Bold Banana – Show me Your Kitties T-Shirt
But seriously, LOL.
Tag: fashion
The Bikini Collector
Why do I keep Buying Bikinis?! I live in Seattle!? Seattle!?! There are like, 10 days a year that I could potentially wear a bikini…and with my luck I will be working all 10 of them…but I still own enough of them to weave a small spandex quilt. I mean, if you think about it. That’s a lot. Triangle tops are so little fabric!
ANYWHOODLE, some history…
Louis Reard invented the bikini back in 1946; 76 years ago. Naming it after the Bikini Atoll*, designated site for over 20 nuclear weapons tests by the US government. His thinking being that it would echo a similar shock and surprise in the fashion community. Bare navel = atomic bomb?..I think not, but it was quite a blow to modesty and channeled countless dollars into the waxing industry**.
Whether you’re boldly showing that thong or flouncing about in a flirty skirt, the debate on modesty will eternally rage on and I will do the bikini CWS…
Cali Dreaming black bikini. I’m kind of in love with these bikinis but they seem to be difficult to get your hands on…or try on..and you HAVE TO TRY IT ON BEFORE YOU BUY IT or face the ill fitting consequences.
I might be a little obsessive compulsive (should I have italicized that, people like italics right? Italics are totally the new bold.) which is good for Mara Hoffman, bad for my bank account. The color and slimming/emphasizing “design magic” of the pattern keeps the eye moving in a figure complimenting direction. I want this bikini, no…I NEED this bikini. <-Italic and bold, nailed it!
No, I am not in cahoots with Forever 21 for my ‘steal’ gear. I truly scoured the web at work for days and days…please don’t tell my boss..looking for a great deal on a bikini that I would actually wear. Here we have the winner of my hours of effort, enjoy.
WildCard- Mara Hoffman- Electric Casino Halter Bikini – Top $101, Bottom $97
Steal-Forever21-Polka Dot Bandeau Bikini Top- $10.80, Bottom – $9.80
*So, this all started with Bikini-fashion stuff but kind of bled into me nerdily reading way too much about nuclear testing by the US and the Soviets. The FBI and CIA are most certainly tracking my internet habits now, hope they like Pinterest.
The most interesting being a wikipedia article about the single most physically powerful device ever used by man, the Tsar Nuclear Bomb, 50 megatons (mt). If you are feeling like being absolutely horrified by humanity/ in awe of the raw power of atoms… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsar_bomb
**$$Cha-OUCH! You dirty mother f*cker!..I’m sorry..sorry, that really really hurt…I’m crying a little-Ching$$
Goodness it is HAUTE outside
It has been oppressively hot in Seattle the past few days…anything above 85 degrees Farenheit is generally considered whole-heartedly unbareable in Seattle. Yes we are warm weather wussies, myself desiccatedly (is that a word? Am I just making up words now?) included. ANYWAY…
So, what do we do when it is too damn hot for clothing but society forces us out in public to buy a watermelon?…PUT ON A SUNDRESS. As close to wearing nothing at all as possible, these impossibly light weight dresses are the best bet to beat the heat.
According to Wikipedia, Lilly Pulitzer popularized the sundress with her bright, printed shift dresses in the 1970’s.
But it’s gone in every direction under the sun since then. Here are the C.W.S. (Classic $$$, Wildcard ???, Steal !!!)
Updated shift silhouette with a large eyelet embroidery. Bright, prep colors that I could actually see myself wearing without feeling like I need a tennis racket and a WASP husband.
Closest thing to nothing at all this Free People frock with the lace-up side details is a Wild Card in my book. Anything that requires enough bravery to laugh off the occassional side boob slip is a little w i l d for this introvert. *Must wear bandeau bra underneath…cute, lacey, flirty
$16 is a friendly price to pay for a shift with this lively floral and if you’re frightened of wearing black, a recent study has shown that wearing black is not any warmer light colors since absorbs the light from the sun but also any heat coming off you body. Where white clothing reflects everything, including your own heat back at you. Yay science and clothing.
Classic – Lilly Pulitzer – Capricia Dress – $298
Wild Card – FP ONE Imperial Palm Pintuck Dress- $118
Steal – Forever 21 Floral Print Racerback Dress – $15.80
I’d be wearing these with every one of these dresses;
Jeffrey Campbell – Puffer Green – $99
These if I can’t get the dreamy green sandals;
Jeffrey Campbell – Magma – $79.95
High School Reunion..Just Barf, or Total Barf?
That time has come.
I thought it would never happen.
Watching Romi and Michelle made me dream of a reunion full of high fives and just desserts, but as with most things…movies may have steered me toward unrealistic expectations.—Where are all the talking animals, I ask?! Where?!
It’s been 10 years since I graduated from high school and though I fit somewhere in the middle…Biology geek, cheerleader, art/choir nerd; I think that I was remotely memorable. My Facebook would have me believe that I am still in-touch with all those folks and their inevitable *baby-flood but it’s just a hyper-social sham. I don’t really care that you bought a burrito at Shopko today. Who are you again? I’m sorry………………. . . . . . . . not.
———-This is probably a good time to mention that I am A) Unmarried and B) Without Children, which is why I have enough spare time and brain power to make crazy shoes and write a marginally funny blog. Just fyi.———
ANYWAY FREAKING WAY, I am undecided on returning to the scene of my teenage “spring.” The same awkwardness that taught me to be sarcastic as an adult was in full gangly limbed effect back then and I’m not sure I want to relive that, even for 1 night…though I would like to rub my latent sexiness in a few faces. Hmm, Yes. Let’s focus on the sexiness as we contemplate an outfit for the occasion.
Nothing screams “Hey jerkface, you made fun of me in high school; now weep like baby over how hot I am” like midriff cutouts. Seriously, trust me.
It’s not for another month so there will probably be more posts with varied anxiety levels as the date grows closer. I may have some PTHSD (Post Traumatic High School Disorder) to get all over y’all. You’re welcome. Some thoughts on outift complimenting shoes…
I prefer simple, black shoes with this dress because it has so much going on, but a flirty metallic could work too. Just stick to a simple silhouette or you could tasefully get your Ne-on….haha get it, neon?! I’m so awkward.
*There was a dam that was holding strong until year 26. Cracks started to form, I could see trickles of pregnancy status updates taking over the feed…then 28…TWENTY-EIGHT!!…The weight of all those Instagrammed “baby pix” became too much for her and she burst. Babies. Just babies everywhere, not an empty uterus in sight. ‘Cept mine, this here be baby free y’all.
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