Alright, soooooo…I accidentally ate a cracker a few days ago. I say ‘accidentally’ because I was so focused on not eating a sandwich that I shoved this in my face
After promptly swallowing the gloriously golden beauty I realized it was made of butter…..and Gluten. DAMMIT!
Sooooooooo ooo oo o o o o o ….. I popped one more in my mouth. What? I had already eaten one! What was one more?! ..and then I stopped. I swear.
To my knowledge, I have been gluten free since.
Damn you Ritz!
Pasta? love it. Bread? loove it. Dounts? I would battle Homer Simpson to the death over the last sprinkle. Migraines? Bain of my existence. They cause vertigo if I don’t my preventative medication daily…yes, daily…for 3 years. Though, in general, the side effects from my meds stay sidelined; occasionally they get in the way of living like a regular person. Also, if I ever want to have kids I have to ditch the meds cuz I can’t take them while prego. Major downer reporting for depression duty.
….So, I am going to try to abstaining from the church of wheat for 2 weeks. A zillion friends have heard my migraine woes and immediately ask if I’ve tried giving up gluten to which I reply “Nah, I’d have to get my shit together for that.”
Well hold your breath peeps, it’s time…shit gathered (Ew. Did I just type that? Sorry…the imagery.)
Today, November 1st is the first day of my gluten-free life (aka the most boring sitcom ever) and I am glad to report that I have managed to stay gluten free despite being tempted by mountains of my favorite candy…
Granted I ate like 15 ‘fun size’ packages yesterday in prep for today and I also ate a maple bar from Top Pot. What? It WAS HALLOWEEN!?
*Note: I have a sensitivity to caffeine so I can’t eat chocolate (I know, I should probably just kill myself. Living without brownies is not really LIVING, is it?) so I cannot eat my real favorite candy, aka Snickers…so many Snicker. I love you. *drool
Anyhoodle…gluten, I will try to keep a log of my thoughts about gluten and any tips or tricks I pick up…also any gluten free snacks I dig. Like these!!
6/8 of my co-workers agree that they will take a lemon yogurt coved almond from me, 5/8 agree that they would redily consume them if available. 0/0 care that they are gluten free. 7/8 think that the stories I tell about my cats are great. 8/8 are sure I’m a cat lady and 100% of Jenna’s are fine with that.
I own a lot of paper and I’m generally incapable of giving people store-bought cards because of it. So, I’ll try to post entertaining card construction projects from time to time.
How exactly do you top a birthday card of your cat with fluffy underbelly exposed for maximum petting? The short story; you don’t. Instead you try to create something that is soooooo badass they are in completely different categories, defying comparison.
DRAGON = Strong, firey-fury breathing mythical creature!
*Metal riff and pyrotechnics E X PLOSI O N ! = Bad Ass
Napkin, Felis catus fat-assicus = Cute, fat-furry belly having house cat!
*fart noise and Meow-Mix rain! = Fat Ass
Though both are types of ‘ass’ they are not on a similar scale for comparision. Like Apples and tribbles. Please excuse my crappy cell phone pictures. Next time I’ll shoot some pretty one…but there are no promises…I am an arteest*!!
But every story has to a handsome, brave….orange…hero
Yes yes, he is quite handsome until he eats my houseplant and barfs it up on my kitchen rug. LOVE YOU NAPKIN!
You can see a short video of the completed card here! More to come…
*Artist; I am an artist like ketchup is a vegetable. <-it’s not. Trust me, I’m a biologist.
Why do I keep Buying Bikinis?! I live in Seattle!? Seattle!?! There are like, 10 days a year that I could potentially wear a bikini…and with my luck I will be working all 10 of them…but I still own enough of them to weave a small spandex quilt. I mean, if you think about it. That’s a lot. Triangle tops are so little fabric!
ANYWHOODLE, some history…
Louis Reard invented the bikini back in 1946; 76 years ago. Naming it after the Bikini Atoll*, designated site for over 20 nuclear weapons tests by the US government. His thinking being that it would echo a similar shock and surprise in the fashion community. Bare navel = atomic bomb?..I think not, but it was quite a blow to modesty and channeled countless dollars into the waxing industry**.
Whether you’re boldly showing that thong or flouncing about in a flirty skirt, the debate on modesty will eternally rage on and I will do the bikini CWS…
Cali Dreaming black bikini. I’m kind of in love with these bikinis but they seem to be difficult to get your hands on…or try on..and you HAVE TO TRY IT ON BEFORE YOU BUY IT or face the ill fitting consequences.
I might be a little obsessive compulsive (should I have italicized that, people like italics right? Italics are totally the new bold.) which is good for Mara Hoffman, bad for my bank account. The color and slimming/emphasizing “design magic” of the pattern keeps the eye moving in a figure complimenting direction. I want this bikini, no…I NEED this bikini. <-Italic and bold, nailed it!
No, I am not in cahoots with Forever 21 for my ‘steal’ gear. I truly scoured the web at work for days and days…please don’t tell my boss..looking for a great deal on a bikini that I would actually wear. Here we have the winner of my hours of effort, enjoy.
WildCard- Mara Hoffman- Electric Casino Halter Bikini – Top $101, Bottom $97
Steal-Forever21-Polka Dot Bandeau Bikini Top- $10.80, Bottom – $9.80
*So, this all started with Bikini-fashion stuff but kind of bled into me nerdily reading way too much about nuclear testing by the US and the Soviets. The FBI and CIA are most certainly tracking my internet habits now, hope they like Pinterest.
The most interesting being a wikipedia article about the single most physically powerful device ever used by man, the Tsar Nuclear Bomb, 50 megatons (mt). If you are feeling like being absolutely horrified by humanity/ in awe of the raw power of atoms… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsar_bomb
**$$Cha-OUCH! You dirty mother f*cker!..I’m sorry..sorry, that really really hurt…I’m crying a little-Ching$$
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