Alright, soooooo…I accidentally ate a cracker a few days ago. I say ‘accidentally’ because I was so focused on not eating a sandwich that I shoved this in my face
After promptly swallowing the gloriously golden beauty I realized it was made of butter…..and Gluten. DAMMIT!
Sooooooooo ooo oo o o o o o ….. I popped one more in my mouth. What? I had already eaten one! What was one more?! ..and then I stopped. I swear.
To my knowledge, I have been gluten free since.
Damn you Ritz!
Pasta? love it. Bread? loove it. Dounts? I would battle Homer Simpson to the death over the last sprinkle. Migraines? Bain of my existence. They cause vertigo if I don’t my preventative medication daily…yes, daily…for 3 years. Though, in general, the side effects from my meds stay sidelined; occasionally they get in the way of living like a regular person. Also, if I ever want to have kids I have to ditch the meds cuz I can’t take them while prego. Major downer reporting for depression duty.
….So, I am going to try to abstaining from the church of wheat for 2 weeks. A zillion friends have heard my migraine woes and immediately ask if I’ve tried giving up gluten to which I reply “Nah, I’d have to get my shit together for that.”
Well hold your breath peeps, it’s time…shit gathered (Ew. Did I just type that? Sorry…the imagery.)
Today, November 1st is the first day of my gluten-free life (aka the most boring sitcom ever) and I am glad to report that I have managed to stay gluten free despite being tempted by mountains of my favorite candy…
Granted I ate like 15 ‘fun size’ packages yesterday in prep for today and I also ate a maple bar from Top Pot. What? It WAS HALLOWEEN!?
*Note: I have a sensitivity to caffeine so I can’t eat chocolate (I know, I should probably just kill myself. Living without brownies is not really LIVING, is it?) so I cannot eat my real favorite candy, aka Snickers…so many Snicker. I love you. *drool
Anyhoodle…gluten, I will try to keep a log of my thoughts about gluten and any tips or tricks I pick up…also any gluten free snacks I dig. Like these!!
6/8 of my co-workers agree that they will take a lemon yogurt coved almond from me, 5/8 agree that they would redily consume them if available. 0/0 care that they are gluten free. 7/8 think that the stories I tell about my cats are great. 8/8 are sure I’m a cat lady and 100% of Jenna’s are fine with that.
I own a lot of paper and I’m generally incapable of giving people store-bought cards because of it. So, I’ll try to post entertaining card construction projects from time to time.
How exactly do you top a birthday card of your cat with fluffy underbelly exposed for maximum petting? The short story; you don’t. Instead you try to create something that is soooooo badass they are in completely different categories, defying comparison.
DRAGON = Strong, firey-fury breathing mythical creature!
*Metal riff and pyrotechnics E X PLOSI O N ! = Bad Ass
Napkin, Felis catus fat-assicus = Cute, fat-furry belly having house cat!
*fart noise and Meow-Mix rain! = Fat Ass
Though both are types of ‘ass’ they are not on a similar scale for comparision. Like Apples and tribbles. Please excuse my crappy cell phone pictures. Next time I’ll shoot some pretty one…but there are no promises…I am an arteest*!!
But every story has to a handsome, brave….orange…hero
Yes yes, he is quite handsome until he eats my houseplant and barfs it up on my kitchen rug. LOVE YOU NAPKIN!
You can see a short video of the completed card here! More to come…
*Artist; I am an artist like ketchup is a vegetable. <-it’s not. Trust me, I’m a biologist.
Pfft…squirrel, Your head is too big. 
Big Head Squirrel Feeder is here to brighten your afternoon with some sublimely deep-thought provoking animal prop comedy. Just add nuts…uh…and squirrels.
jennahutson.com 